Unlimited duration of hunger strike for DESSERTS!Translated by Chen-t'ang 鎮棠, Edited by Choi Siu-wa, Written by 翼雙飛 (Wing Wing)
I was kind of hungry yesterday, so I went to a restaurant downstairs. The menu reads, "Dessert of today's lunch set: Ice-cream". So after my main course, I asked the boss as he walked past, "Hey, is there ice-cream for desserts?"
"Ice-cream isn't good. It causes tooth decay and obesity. Be obedient, eat Jung." says the Boss. [Translator's note: Jung, the glutinous rice dumpling eaten during the Tuen Ng Festival, in memorial of Wat Yuen/Qu Yuan(屈原), a Chinese patriot in the Kingdom of Ch'u)]
I was like thinking "isn't he nuts?". I replied, "I don't want Jung, I want ice-cream."
At this moment, Mrs Lam from the next table said, "He won't give you ice-cream. Listen to him, Jung is the same, they are as well food, right?"
Boss: "Right! Or I can make you a vanilla flavour of Jung, or chocolate flavour will do, or flavours you like, we can talk and achieve consensus, but we won't have ice-cream. Don't be so picky, can't you see other diners are just eating ordinary Jungs?"
A seemingly mainland individual visitor behind my table (with a big trolley case next to his legs) said: "Ludicrous is the ice-cream, we don't want any, though we haven't got one." I took a look at him, who was full of Jung in his mouth.
Next to the visitor was a pastor. He saw me looking at him, and said, "It might not be good if you can have ice-cream. You see eaters over there at the ice-cream shop? They have stomachache along the way."
After listening to them, I turned back and found out the boss was already away. Instead, a waiter was standing there.
Waiter: "Asking for ice-cream is just like asking for the Kingdom to come in glory. It is not pragmatic."
Me: "Wow! A 100% match with Mrs Lam! Are you implying that eating Jungs are more pragmatic?"
Waiter:" No, we staff members also fight for desserts for lunch sets! Jungs are not desserts!"
Me: "How will you fight for? Quit your job, huh?"
Waiter: "We will insist the principle of Peaceful, Rational, Non-violent, Non-profanity (PRNN), and to let our boss be moved by love and peace. Quitting our job is SO RADICAL, we won't do it. We have started a hunger strike for unlimited duration, and to move our boss with sincerity."
Wow, people from the entire restaurant are very peculiar. I hate eating Jungs, so I wanted to dial to a friend of mine, who is a lawyer. I asked whether I can sue the restaurant if they provide Jungs but wrote ice-cream on the menu. When I was finding the phone number, I witnessed the waiter having his meal break.
Me: "Chap, you said that you are having a hunger strike for unlimited duration for desserts! Is the boss willing to supply desserts NOW?"
Waiter: "I suffer from hypoglycaemia, and I have to stop my hunger strike. Besides, I have broken my last record of hunger strike, and there are my colleagues who would take the baton in hunger strike. So I can eat." He was talking and eating and staring on the girlies on his iPad.
The boss asked the waiter, "Hey Albert, there will be two days of holiday in mid-April. All our staff will go to Shanghai, are you in?"
Albert: "Yes! I am in! I love Xiaolongbao and Shanghai dishes!"
I felt I was watching an extremely ludicrous farce as they talked to each other happily. But the strangest thing of all: I was looking around, and people were just eating and playing with their phones, with some taking selfies. It seems that nobody gives a damn. Am I the only one who find this very satirical? Am I abnormal or are they abnormal?
Acknowledgement for Chen-t'ang's metaphor of "Jung and Ice-cream", and encouragement to me in writing this article.
(Photo source: Chris Hsi via Flickr)