A PIECE OF HOLYSHITTranslated by Chen-t'ang 鎮棠, Edited by Karen L., Written by Lewis Loud
When it comes to Chinese locust kids urinating and defecating in public, the strongest reaction is not given by the Hongkongers, but the CCP's media mouthpieces. Lu Xun, a famous Chinese writer in the early 20th century, once refuted, "Whenever someone criticises China, Chinese will always respond - 'We are in the same situation as the foreigners are'." It is a normal case for people to clean up the mess in their own backyards when it's dirty, but the Chinese way to make clean their own backyards is by saying "The others' backyards are dirty as well."
According to many CCP's media mouthpieces and mainlanders, a kid peeing or making a poo poo in public doesn't make he or she to be treated as an adult; and Hongkongers shooting the faux pas of them, is way worse. Don't laugh at the native media under the world-class party, who plays the 'primary school logic': "Sir, I am not the only one chatting in class. Siu Ming chats too. Why don't you tell him off?" Such way of thinking is supported by some educated youngsters in Hong Kong as well. Imagine: Mr. A, a lecturer in suit standing on the stage of the theatre in some university and speaking in a serious tone,
"Mainlanders pissing and taking a shit in public space of Hong Kong, is a symbol of injustice under the 'Neoliberalism' and the 'Globalisation' context in our 'urban space'...
The urban space of Mong Kok is monopolised by consortium, therefore insufficient amount of public toilets are offered to tourists who join the Individual Visit Scheme (IVS). The kid shitting in public is a 'revolution towards the managerialism of a post-modern society'. It's just like the giant inflatable faeces in front of the hotel in the West Kowloon Cultural District, mocking 'the pseudo-delicate tradition of fine art in the strict structure of capitalism'. Doing toilet work in public, it presents 'the insistence of individual subjectivity in the tradition of existentialism from Nietzsche to Sartre'. In the moment that the kids' faeces coming out through his large intestine, there was a form of 'self-creation' and an emancipation from the ubiquitous 'capitalism disciplinary society'!"
The 99% undergraduates in the lecture theatre might think "WTF!", but they had to put on a "it's-very-inspiring" face. Surely, they didn't want to fail, therefore superficial stuff was a must. But one of the students, Mr. B Yeung, a 'genurine talent' was 'genurinely' inspired, and started his own philosophical thoughts after listening to Mr. A's theories, and it went,
[Translator's note: Mongkok Sons/MK Sons refer to a category of teenagers who follow the trend that's similar to Alternative Punk]
"Why would many Mongkok Sons swallow their girlfriends' flow as a proof of true love? Why would there be an increasing number of insane guys to accept such behaviour as an acceptable sexual activity? Why would leaving rubbish on the street or even drinking down someone's Sally be accepted while pissing and shitting everywhere would be greeted with 'WTF'? Referring to some general biological knowledge, long time accumulation of faeces will cause toxin accumulation. And some child psychologists even suggested that holding the call of nature for a long time will extend one's Anal Stage, and it's likely for those children to become maniacs when they grow older. Therefore pissing and taking a shit in public should actually be accepted as a human right!"
Some young people love shit. They are no more than psychos, who simply want to be different and think that they really hold some 'unique opinions'; some old people love shit too, but love from a patriotic perspective. When you say shitting in public is a wrongdoing, citizen C, a patriot, would say: "I will probably urinate randomly when I'm drunk, what's the matter?" and citizen D, an outdated news commentator who is preparing for emigration, says: "Mainlanders have never enjoyed freedom under Communist party's rule. Even they defecate in Hong Kong, it's still a sort of 'holy shit' (神聖的屎, "holy" is in the meaning of sacred). Hongkongers should be more accommodating, and shall not lose our temper and virtue to blame. If we infuriated mainlanders, they will not support the democratic movement in Hong Kong anymore; without their sympathy, we can do nothing, not even to shit. And that's really the big deal!"
In the eyes of A, B, C and D, "defecation" is no longer defecation itself but represents the huge symbolic meaning behind. Defecation can be the ultimate way of a post-modern power disciplinary society, as well as a killer of the capitalism and the managerialism. By the time a piece of feces dropped, it equals to the Pope kissing this piece of sacred land, symbolising the integration of Hong Kong and China, and the eternal handover of the 'body and mind' of Hong Kong. Whenever IVS visitors shit, they are experiencing the epochs of democracy and freedom in Hong Kong. The kid defecating might be the next student activist leader in China, just like Joshua Wong in Hong Kong, how can't you bear it? In minds of many people, it is just superficial in fighting for certain rights as Hong Kong will need China to help itself to cross the Red Sea anyways.
I once went to a psychiatric centre to pay a visit. I saw a male patient and a female waitress quarreling in the garden. The man kept on pointing a bowl of noodles and yelled "What I need is noodles! Noodles!" The woman kept on yelling back, "Your noodles is here! Here! Can't you see?" The man insisted it's not a bowl of noodles. And the two held on the same argument for a few minutes.
A city and a country has showed some criteria of mental illness on treating faeces and on that kid fouling in public places. There is a simple fact that won't be accepted by the more-educated. When you say it isn't right to do their toilet work everywhere, they will refute by claiming that there are no toilets or it's a peasant culture or kids can't hold it or YOU are not civilised at all... The entire country is mad, completely - from the street to the education institution and from some commoners to the middle class. All are lunatic.