Sunday, 1 June 2014

Wing: It's For Your Own Good!

It's For Your Own Good!
Translated by Karen L., Written by 翼雙飛 (Wing Wing)

Gay rights have been standing up among social issues of the world in recent years. The discussions over the topic have been vigorous.

Some parents indicated that they themselves will suffer from emotional setbacks and therefore will aim to "cure" their children by all means if they find out their children being gays or lesbians. These parents are to shift their children’s sexual orientation back to “normal” by pull and push strategies --- not only do they insist on dissent of homosexual issues and impede homosexual behaviours, but they also encourage dates with opposite-sex and introduce counselling programs to their children.

The concept of “an ideal son/ daughter” has been established in certain parents’ minds, in which the path of being an ideal person is somehow stereotyped as follow: Being on the top of the grade academically and personally started from primary school, becoming a straight A student in the public examinations, having the opportunity to study in the University of Hong Kong, working as a professional in the leading enterprise of the field after graduation, finding an equally outstanding partner and finally making one’s parents happily-ever-after grandparents.  

Once their children are found slightly out of track, it’s time to “right the wrong”. Look at the examples down there.

You decided to be a scaffold worker? Sure not! You should continue studying and be a professional. 

You want to marry this guy? Never! How can you even be with this guy? He has got a disfigured face!

You are gay? Absolutely not! This is not accepted by the world. Others will look down on you! And you won’t be able to carry on our family name by having babies! 

“I say so and do so just for your own good, dear. Your life will be smooth in this way.” It is the most hateful behaviour when love is used as a shield of unreasonable intervention. Gratitude of love and care throughout the years act as a conflict forcing us not to say “No” to parents’ orders and “friendly” arrangements.

So parents: You should know that your understanding and support mean a lot to children. Even it’s a smile of comfort, it has the capacity to provide more than enough energy for your children to fight against the sarcasm and discrimination in the society.

Read this story: There was a teenager who chose not to continue his study in grammar school, but rather work as a scaffold worker. While he was working, a nobody housewife passing by with her child, “Look, those are for people who can’t do.” But when this frustrated and tired teenager came home, his mother said, “Dear, let’s drink up the soup. It’s too hot out there in the day. You’ll need this.” 

Think about this: Who cares what did that the mean housewife say? It just doesn’t matter anymore. 

Some parents blindly hope that their children’s lives to be smooth. And the definition of “smooth” is by what they’ve already had in their minds of “ideal children”. They focus on their own expectations but ignore what their children truly want. They presume that everyone would like to work in offices and nobody would not take excellence as the criteria of a life partner. Worse still, they don’t see that parents’ bigoted attitude is the biggest obstacle of children’s lives, much more powerful than the combined voices of dis-encouragement in the society.

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