Nakade Hitsujiko's Speech on Hong Kong National Party - “Defend for Democracy, Hong Kong Independence” RallyTranscribed by IRay; translated by Sidney, Marco, Timothy, edited by Chen-t'ang , spoken by Nakade Hitsujiko
[ The English translation is released under Creative Commons, CC BY-NC-ND 2.0 ]
|(Source: Undergrad, HKUSU Instant News)|
So! Just a moment ago, I was still working on my speech over there in that seat. Why? Things just happened too quickly. Besides, I just pulled myself away from thinking about the election, and I was thinking about what to do next. And then I was invited to this assembly. I thought there might be just a few thousand people, but... Holy Shit! Look at this fucking crowd here! Right. So, this is how I begin my speech, you all know my style, I’m not a big fan for solemnity, you may even say my style is a bit comedic, whatever you call it... I was a bit worried that it would be out of place on this stage, but thanks to James Chan, he set up a light atmosphere for the stage and my worries were much relieved. Thank you. Also, I want to thank the Hong Kong National Party. Although there were some technical difficulties, the event is nonetheless running quite smoothly. By the way, let me help you next time, I can definitely help you with the technical stuff. Thirdly, I want to thank everyone who nominated me in the New Territories West Geographical Constituency. I can’t stand for the election in this round, but no matter, we will definitely have a go next time. I would also like to thank my benefactors online who gave me the fund necessary for this election game. I'm really grateful. So, let me hijack this stage to express my gratitude. Right.
As you can see, I'm not so good at making speeches. One might say, “Wait a minute, Nakade Hitsujiko. You can't be *that* bad at public speaking! You have so much to say on Facebook, your posts attract so many likes, you’ve certainly mastered the art of bullshitting.” But in fact, if you look at the edit history of my posts, you’ll see that there are a lot of edits, copy-and-pastes, deletions and redactions, with at least a dozen or two revisions. So you see, I am not good at speaking. I hope you will understand that.
People ask me, “Hey, Nakade Hitsujiko, are you crazy?” Am I? (crowd: yes!) So, what does this mean? Am I crazy or not? (crowd: YES!) In my opinion, if you had to ask me this question, I’m really more normal than you. I am just doing the most hyper-normal thing in an era of insanity. Right. But history is very unforgiving. If you win, you’re “normal”. If you lose, you are crazy. But I will tell you this: I will show you all, I will defin-fucking-itely win! I will prove it to you all, all those who think I’m crazy, *you’re* the crazy ones.
So, the screening of election candidates is not only an insult to the five of us, it is also an insult to each and every voter in Hong Kong, especially the ones voting for me. Because I know if I were able to stand for election, I will abso-fucking-lutely win. How many supporters do I have? Come on, think about it.
How many voters do I have? Come on — marijuana legalization, I’m advocating for marijuana legalization for god’s sake! I am calling for the legalization of erotic establishments, of live shows and of hardcore porn, being in line with the Japanese standards— just think about how many are dreaming for this? And then, fuck you, you tell me I can’t stand for election. This is not only an insult to me, this is also an insult to hundreds of thousands of voters who are going to vote for me. This is an extensive insult to a lot of voters in Hong Kong. I know that a lot of people want to vote for me, but unfortunately you don’t have a chance this time. No matter, you’ll have a chance next time. Because you can see that they are idiots without even looking, of course we will have a re-election, jeez! The question is *when* — is it one year, two years or three years? It’s just a matter of time. Don’t worry, we will be able to stand for re-election. About this incident, I was a bit surprised at first, it is within my expectation but at the same time out of it as well. What I expected was that they would ban me from running the election. What I didn’t expect was that I was still banned even though I gave them a convenient excuse to back down. Come on, amending the basic law to make Hong Kong Special… no, no. Requesting the National People's Congress (NPC) to pass a new bill to launch the legal boundaries of HKSAR onto the moon. Thus creating a lacuna in Hong Kong’s sovereignty. Thus becomes a basis towards national independence. Or, they could have just amended the first article of the Basic Law. I gave them a convenient excuse to let me run for the election, they can then avoid judicial review and all that crap. If I win even more votes in the re-election, you’ll just end up with more embarrassment. But you didn’t take my offer. So stupid.
So, I don’t have none of those anger, sadness, or proclamations like “the darkest day”. I have none of that. Because the whole farce is good for us. Especially for my original proposal, in addition to legalising marijuana, legalizing erotic shows, etc., the keystone in my election platform for this year is “Diplomacy by Nationals”, to confirm the de-facto independence of Hong Kong. And then, we’ll invite America, and representatives of the Hong Kong Legislative Council, and the Chinese. We’ll go to Beijing together, we’ll bring along the US military to Beijing. “If the Americans aren’t here yet, I’ll invite them; If the Americans are already here, I’ll lead the way.” In Beijing, the three parties: Hong Kong, China and US will hold three-party talks on the prospect of the sovereignty of Hong Kong. However, I’m afraid this cannot be achieved in my first term of office. But, why am I advocating this? Actually, Hong Kong people are too afraid to think outside the box. All these years we have tried to solve our problems internally, but hey, it has been so many years already!! It’s time for some new ideas. We’ve been working on solving the problems internally as always — “valiant defiance”1, or resisting with whatever method. But, can we have some innovation already? Can’t we “collude with foreign forces”? You fucktards always claim the anti-establishment is “colluding with foreign forces”, those lapdog officials. Very well, if we’re going to be accused of “colluding with foreign forces” anyway, if you’re going to call us “running dogs of America” whatever, why can’t we do it once for real? Right. Really. Collude with foreign forces, and redistribute the interests in Hong Kong. Let us split the profits of “Hong Kong-Zhuhai-Macau”, and those damn things, like the third airport runway, the “high-speed” railway, those engineering projects. At least we shouldn’t let the profits go only to the China State Construction company. Why don’t we let the profits go to the Americans? Why not the Japanese? Fuck that shit. Those (Chinese) projects run over-budget and over-time, if we give them to others, so what? Those rotten projects, I don’t know, I don’t know if they would explode, damn! So that’s it, collude with foreign forces, and redistribute the interests in Hong Kong. But now, I won’t be able to form a delegation and lead them on a diplomatic mission with the three parties, I won’t be able to do this in the first term. So, I was saying, I was drafting some documents, planning to form some delegations, to go to the US embassy to let them know about this, to go to the British Consulate to let them know about this. I hope we can attend a US congressional hearing, and let them know how Hong Kong people have been living for these twenty-something years. Damn that shit, you think they can close the doors and beat us like dogs? You think it is fun? Are you done with it already? They’ve been oppressing us for so fucking many years, aren’t you going to come out and shout for help? Of course we will seek out the Americans! Hong Kong is not only about China, not only about Hong Kong people, it is also about Americans. There are so many interests at stake here, and a lot of them are not controlled by the mainlanders. Of course, in the end, we, Hongkongers, are the ones calling the shots, but we can benefit from outside assistance, to conduct international negotiations. Regarding this incident about Registration and Electoral Office [sic], it’s already a subversion of the “One Country, Two Systems” principle, it’s even possible that this was an order from Beijing. This is already a very convincing argument, to allow us to facilitate this round of “diplomacy by nationals”, to request foreign forces to be concerned about and to intervene in the future of Hong Kong, and ultimately allow Hong Kong to build its own nation and become independent.
Maybe you’ll ask, hey, why am I standing here? Seriously, I don’t know how to speak, and I really fucking hate politics, I don’t have what it takes to play with politics. But, I was working in the Information Technology sector, come on! I’m still doing IT now, I like interfacing with machines more than humans. Who wants to deal with those fucktards over there (Central Government Complex) at the back? But why have I taken this step? Because there’s no future. Why? In 2047, the sovereignty limitation will make us… So let’s take IT for example. What is IT in Hong Kong? What are they doing over there at Google? They have a lot of hackers, they are researching and developing new network technologies. Damn it! What is IT in Hong Kong? Customer service! Deployment! And what else? (Crowd: IT dog!) Yes, IT dog. Hey come on, Hong Kong people are so fucking smart, our ancestors and elders, they swam here by clinging onto a basketball, they faced guns and bullets in war and turmoil, those who should be dead are dead already. Hey, after this screening process, we have superior genes, the most intelligent people in the whole world are in Hong Kong. And what else? “Bi-literacy and Tri-lingualism”. Damn you, you want me to do customer service, to do deployment? That’s why, I don’t want to get involved in politics, but in order to have a better career and a better future for myself, what do I need to do? I have to fix this machine. What does this entail? If you can’t fix it on a high level, you drill deeper down to fix the fundamentals. In the end I realised the fundamental problem is that Hong Kong people cannot see their future. I’ve come here, not to proclaim the darkest hour in our history. I’m here to win, I’m here to create a future that you can all look up to and aspire to.
So, thanks to the returning officers: you validated us by shutting us out. If you didn’t shut out these five candidates, including me, then I would be wondering “shit, have I tread on the wrong path?” So, today, I thank you very much.
Hong Kong. I may look crazy to some of you, but I think this place is sometimes even more crazy. Why? Hey, these four characters are so beautiful. Just look at how beautiful they are. Why do our students have to learn those crippled (simplified) characters? They look as if they’re falling apart, like it’s crumbled and fractured. Today our teachers, we should pay our teachers well, to teach them what orthodox Chinese characters are, what Cantonese is, come on. This is what I mean by crazy, sigh.
Also, three hundred billion US dollars in the foreign currency reserve, it’s enough to allow every Hong Kong person to live decently, don’t have to work, just sunbathe on the beach every day, and hire prostitutes and drink every night. You want us to slave away at a HK$9000 or HK$10,000/month job? And live in a subdivided room that rents for five or six thousand? Are you ill? Are you crazy? When a person in society, how do I put it? If they don’t want to face the fact that the system is crazy, they would just place crazy responsibilities, fucking blame… blame it on us. Right, blame it on those who look most normal on surface. But this is no big deal, I will win, to let them know it is they who are crazy. I will fix this machine.
We want Hong Kong to build its own nation and become independent. Not only become independent, this is too easy. How hard can Hong Kong Independence be?! I’ll show you how to do it. We want to build the Hong Kong nation and achieve independence, not only independence. We want “if you need money, we’ll give you money; if you need land, we’ll give you land; if you need women, we’ll give you women”! We will become the Hong Kong Empire.
So, time is almost up, I thought I couldn’t finish everything. In these twenty years, the Communist Party, the life they gave Hong Kong people, it’s already — it’s really hard to talk about it. If you ask me, it’s just common sense. Hey come on, promoting Hong Kong independence and nation building is just common sense! Why do you want me to explain it, come on! Sometimes when I’m promoting my cause on the street booths, I feel sad while talking about it, it’s really hard to talk about it. (to organisers) Tell me when I have 3 minutes left. But, Hong Kong is such an easy place to govern, and they fail at it, they give us such a life, they really deserve to be damned. In these twenty years, hey how hard is it to govern Hong Kong people? Give them a job, they will stay out of trouble, just give them a good chance of upward mobility, just have the government departments pretend to be fair, just like that. And what else? Give them some entertainment. Huh, I’ve been providing a whole lot of entertainment to you already, of course. Hey, good governance is as simple as this. So, after Hong Kong builds its nation and becomes independent, if I join the interim government, or if I become one of the royalty, I’m going to be very happy. Because Hong Kong people are really easy to govern, it’s just that they suck at governance, they’re fucking dickheads.
Look, sometimes I’m depressed as well. I sometimes wonder whether I should emigrate and leave this place. To Canada, or wherever. But then I think: I’m such a genius, if I don’t fix things here, I will… how do I put it? This problem, it’s only us who can fix it. Only we can spark off this revolution of a new era. If I left this place, what about you? What about all of you? So, even though I can leave at any time, I won’t. I will stay here until the final moment. I will fight against them, night after night, day after day. Why, because, look at this armband, it’s not a prefect badge, I’m not a prefect of the “Occupy Central Movement”. What is this? The Hong Kong Royal Family. I originally intended to wear this when campaigning in the election. But I’m showing this off for the first time, because I don’t have a street booth anymore. I hereby proclaim solemnly: I, Nakade Hitsujiko, am a member of the Hong Kong Royal Family. The dignity of my subjects here, is also a matter of my personal dignity. I won’t leave, ever. I will stay here, until I succeed. I’m also giving a final warning to the Beijing government, to Mr. Xi Jinping: Hong Kong national building and independence is our historical destiny, we will definitely become neighbouring countries. But will we be friendly states or hostile states? You choose! This choice is not ours. I hope Beijing’s central committee, the party central committee of our neighbour, I hope they can be pragmatic. China’s economy is about to explode, watch out! Whether we will bring along Americans and subjugate you, or whether we will bring five hundred city-state officers to the Great Hall of the People and talk about our great Chinese traditions over a few rounds of Tsingtao beer, I’ll let them decide.
Finally, how many people are here, I can’t count them all. So many Hong Kong nationals-to-be, this revolution of the era, it’s not only me, it’s not only the responsibilities of the pro-independence, or pan-nation-building candidates. Every single one of us in Hong Kong can do what needs to be done in their own position. For example, oh you’re good at making money, please make more money, and donate to us. Whatever. The Chinese economy is going to explode soon, rent will go down, buy a factory, prepare to revive the manufacturing industries in Hong Kong. As for daily life, we don’t need to use citizens… although we, according to the City-State Theory, we are citizens, and we are also an autonomous city state. We are citizens and we are nationals. But at these times, we have an even pressing need to start from our daily lives… hey! Let’s change our vocabulary a bit. All you nationals of Hong Kong, I greet you! Look, these small things, they can be a… nobody told you to charge and fight every single time, come on. Exhaust all options that are within your abilities, do what you ought to do. Hong Kong people should hold steady onto their own positions, to complete this revolution of our era. We will definitely be successful. It may seem dark now, but, I hope they, how do I put it? We won’t be afraid of darker times. Let the storm rage ever stronger! Hong Kong should have the audacity to become a member of the nobility. Show them our courage! Hey, don’t just complain it’s “dark” every day, to hell with “we are eggs and they are the high wall”. What the hell! Fuck it, we are bricks! We will hit you and you’ll collapse, can’t we do that? Give yourself a fearsome spirit!
Look! Finally! I have some advice for all those who oppose Hong Kong nation building and independence: today, we’re going to strive for independence, and we’re not going to ask your bloody opinion about it! You only have two options. What are they? It’s a given that Hong Kong will be established as a nation and become independent. You can either pack up and go back to the “Strong Country” in the north, to gleam in the glamour of being a Chinese national -- the most unwelcome tourist, those contaminated milk powder scandals, comprehensive systems of laws, selfless one-party systems, those things we’ll just leave it to you people to experience, and it won’t be me who will suffer! Or, you can repent, believe in localism, become a Hong Kong citizen again, and prepare to become a national of Hong Kong!
Those who support Hong Kong nation building and independence will be blessed, and their sins forgiven. There are various gods and buddhas who will bless this epic event of the century. Those who dare obstruct it will be damned. They will burn in hell! Those who oppose independence, or those who supported the transfer of sovereignty in 1997, I’m now giving you a chance to repent! Look, I’ll tell you a funny story. One day, when I was standing beside a street booth, a man came over and knelt before me, he said I’m a member of the royalty, so he knelt in front of me, he wanted to kill me with shame… (please give me one more minute). But he didn’t know that I will proudly accept his adoration. Kneel! Revere me! You will be blessed and your sins forgiven! All of you who allowed the transfer of sovereignty to happen in 1997, I’m now giving you a chance to repent, and to become a Hongkonger again. Now is your chance to relieve your sins, and avoid burning in hell, and instead bathe in the glory of being a Hongkonger.
Lastly… Build the Hong Kong nation, become independent! Build the Hong Kong nation, become independent! Build the Hong Kong nation, become independent!
Going forward, I will conduct “diplomacy by nationals” though a massive operation to collude with foreign forces. Stay tuned for more information on my Facebook. Thank you!
1. Hong Kong Columns (Translated) usually translate 勇武抗爭 as valorous confrontation.↩
(Title given by editor)
(Nakade Hitsujiko, née Terry Chung Ming-lun. It is believed that he changed his name in 2015.)
可能問，喂，諗返我點解會企喺度呢？其實講真我又唔識講嘢，我真係唔撚鍾意搞政治，我唔係搞政治嘅人材。但係，我本來撈IT㗎大佬！我而家都撈緊IT，對機器開心過對人添，日日對住嗰班吓，後面嗰班撚樣。咁但係香港，點解我會行到呢一步？因為無未來。點解啊？2047，主權嘅一個嘅大限令到我地。以IT界為例，香港嘅IT係咩？人地Google做緊咩啊？好多嘅hacker啊，研發緊新嘅網絡嘅技術啊，最頂尖嘅技術。喂，香港高地價，仲唔係應該發展呢啲咁嘅長期投資啊，高端嘅一啲嘅研發。吖，頂你個肺，香港嘅IT係咩啊？customer service囉，deployment囉。仲有咩話？（群眾：IT狗！）IT狗囉咪。喂大佬啊，香港人咁撚醒，我地嘅祖先長輩，攬住個籃球游水落嚟，喺戰亂之中槍林彈雨，要死嘅都死哂。喂，經過品質篩選，基因優良，全世界最聰明嘅人就喺香港。仲有咩話？兩文三語。頂你個肺，要我地做customer service，做deployment？所以呢，我唔想搞政治，但係為咗我可以有一個比較好嘅事業吖，前途啦，咁我都要點啊？fix返好呢部機器。啫係點啊？高層次嘅地方搞唔掂，一路就修理下層嗰層嘢囉。最後發覺原來個根基就係香港人嘅。我地呢度睇唔到未來，而家我嚟到呢一度，唔係要講啲咩最黑暗歷史。我嚟呢一度係要贏，同埋創造一個俾大家睇到嘅一啲嘅未來。
香港，我睇落我啲行為好瘋癲但係我覺得有時呢個地方比較瘋癲。點解呀？喂，我地啲字咁靚。你睇吓呢四隻字幾靚。點解要我地啲學生學嗰啲咁嘅殘體字啊？甩皮甩⻣，aam4 aam4 caam4 caam4。今日我地啲老師，高薪請我地嘅老師教佢地咩係正體字，咩係粵語啦大佬。呢啲咪痴線囉。